Monday, 29 December 2014
In January I signed up for Suzy Greaves' 12 month Life Upgrade course and dutifully looked into my personal, financial, health and home habits to see what was and wasn't working for me. I also had a couple of one to one sessions with Suzy which were invaluable.
A few months into the course I decided to investigate my eating habits. I dusted down my copy of Eating Less by Gillian Riley, read it cover to cover and made notes.
A very good friend leant me a copy of The Happiness Project over the summer and I used this to compile my very own list of Commandments and Secrets of Adulthood.
My final piece of the jigsaw came through a chance conversation relating to frustrations around food. I contacted Jo and I really think she is one of those people to have changed the course of my life.
So this is what I have learned:
Sleep solves most things.
When food is controlled I comply but then I rebel.
It's important to me that I always do the right thing.
My inner critic needs to be karate chopped neatly and succinctly.
I have used alcohol to numb and soothe.
Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.
Food plans, diets, regimes and restrictions made me feel safe.
If it's hysterical, it's historical.
I can get an awful lot done in ten minutes.
When I think I don't need yoga, that's when I really need yoga.
If in doubt, hum "Let it go"
Friday, 29 August 2014
I tweeted Spanish.
I said "MD 60 Bienvenido a Details&Chic. Descubre nuestras creaciones para tus grandes momentos" or similar.
[Interestingly, some of my friends - and how I love these people - just assumed I was bilingual.]
In the midst of Eurovision-related tweeting, laughing and (a little) drinking I must have clicked on one of the many Spanish spam tweets I receive at weekends.
The Spanish continued, unabated over the next few weeks. I read all the help issues on twitter, I set my account to protect my tweets, I changed my password, I changed my password, I changed my password.
But still my imposter continued.
I contacted twitter, I was given a case number - and they suggested I change my password.
I gave up.
A few weeks later, I realised that I spoke Spanish when I accepted a new follower.
I contacted twitter with this revelation, I was given a case number - and they suggested I change my password.
Last week I hit desperation and removed the twitter app from my phone and iPad via Settings - and as I did this I noticed that the password was my old password........
And then the penny dropped.
I had been tackling the problem via the main site but the new password wasn't registering on the twitter app despite logging in and out each time.
I changed my password once more for luck - et voila (I really can't speak Spanish) - it's over.
Friday, 8 August 2014
Thursday, 20 March 2014
"I used to be self conscious about my height, but then I thought, fuck that, I'm Harry Potter." Daniel Radcliffe
This quote made me laugh so I thought it needed sharing.
I can't really comfort myself with the fact that my flaws are OK because I am a film star, solving world peace or even changing the world but I can see that what I see is not what others see.
I am pretty sure that if I asked my friends or family what they liked about me, it wouldn't involve my dress size, the state of my skin, the photos I put on instagram or even the clothes that I am wearing.
And I don't judge them that way.
I value compassion, passion, brains, humour, creativity and empathy in my friends.
However, trying to value myself is a minefield. It probably won't come as a surprise that I paint my nails, use body lotion, run, try to eat healthily... but I don't value my time at all. I am pinging from one thing to another constantly - and whilst this means I am the ultimate Jack of all Trades who can turn her hand to pretty much anything and appears as one of life's high achievers, there is a cost and that cost is tiredness which can manifest itself as over-thinking and worry.
I was asked today to write down ten things I want to do for me tomorrow and ten things I want to do for me in 2014. The aim was for me to be able to see what I wanted to do so that I could understand how to say no to things that perhaps I don't really want to do (but as my diary had a slot, I did them).
I managed three for tomorrow and two for 2014.
It's not that I don't have a zest for life - quite the opposite - it's just that all the things I can think of are either task-orientated or would make other people happy.
Sunday, 9 February 2014
"Clutter is a physical manifestation of fear that cripples our ability to grow" H.G. Chissell
Now is the time to raise my game and work on the areas that need a little bit more investment.
So today, I set my phone timer for 30 minutes and focused on the spare room. We rarely have people to stay so the bed has slowly been covered up with Christmas decorations, Scarlett's art, old photos, DVDs, wrapping paper........
Every time I get to the top of the stairs, my eyes go right and I get that sense of doom. I achieved so much in half an hour that I reset my phone and Ta-Dah....... A bed.
Friday, 3 January 2014
I like resolutions. I like trying to do better. But, let's be honest, the big strict regulations we inflict at this miserable time of year are likely to fail. I'm also no longer keen on adding any more pressure by suggesting I will be happier if I eat less / drink less / run more blah blah.
Last year I tried picking a phrase, writing it on a card and keeping it in my diary.
I think I am going to do the same thing this year.
So, in 2014 I will mostly be remembering to "keep my own counsel".
Reading this on a public blog is slightly ironic, and then there's my use of social media to consider.......
Maybe I should just eat less.
Friday, 29 November 2013
Studying for a Pschology degree, alongside working, being a mother and running our home has left me with just one television evening a week, I haven't picked up a hook or needle in weeks and my magazines are piling up like the dust on the shelves....
Working four to five days a week took a little bit of getting used to, but after six weeks I reached a level of match fitness which enables me to read late into the evening one night a week. Nine weeks on, I am now finding my feet and have realised that I have to approach University as another job, so that I can keep on top of my work and produce assignments at the level my tutors are looking for.
Of course it's not all rose-tinted textbooks; there are times when I feel like my head is going to spin off my neck and many nights when I can't switch off and sleep feels miles away.
But am I happy. Much happier than I have been in ages.
I am finally learning the truths of the subject I have been second-guessing for years.